Thoughts on Polygamy….

Going by definition, polygamy is defined as “the practice or custom of having more than one wife or husband at the same time….”

The thing with polygamy is, if both sides truly know what they are getting into and are genuinely fine with it, I think it’s a personal choice. But usually, there’s lotta social conditioning and lack of voice behind these and that’s what I’m not fine with….

Although polygamy is not gender-specific, it’s usually a construct of religious patriarchy. So in most cases, it is more than one wife sharing one husband. While polygamy is judged illegal in many parts of the world, it is somewhat seen as justified for men to have more than one wife in many other parts. But in the same places, the other way round it would cause a scandal. And might even get the woman killed….

I don’t care whether it’s polygamy, monogamy, open relationship or anything in that spectrum if both sides irrespective of gender are consciously in favour of it. But in most polygamies, that is not the case. And usually, the women have no say in it. Lemme give two different examples to explain….

Example 1: Almost all religious people are religious because they were born into the religion. Now one may say they weren’t forced into it, but at the same time, they weren’t given a choice, to begin with. They haven’t been indoctrinated with the concept of choice. They have been taught the family religion as the true path from an age when they didn’t understand the world. So they’ve been socially conditioned into their religion with the illusion of choice. The same is the situation for polygamous families in the less-developed parts of the world….

Example 2: Getting into dating for fun is pretty common. But although it’s meant for fun, one might be taken advantage of in a love-for-fun relationship. If both sides are consciously looking for fun and are fully aware that neither is looking for a serious long-term relationship, it’s fine. There’s nothing wrong with dating for fun. But if one of them gets tricked into it expecting a genuine emotional connection and a serious long-term relationship, the person will rightfully feel taken advantage of when the fun wears off. The same is the case for the wives in most polygamous families…

While I’m explaining my perspective on polygamy in a gender-neutral way, it’s important to take real-world scenarios into account. Most polygamies happen in less developed parts of the world. Most polygamies are a husband keeping more than one wife. And in most polygamies, the wives don’t have any say in it and are usually victims of the system….

To summarize and conclude, I’ll say when polygamy is the result of a conscious choice between everyone involved, it is a personal choice one has the right to have. But when polygamy is the result of outdated social conditioning where one side is treated as inferior and has no say in it, it is morally wrong and rightfully illegal in many parts of the world. Sadly, it is the second kind that is much more common than the first….

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